taking responsibilty

Having four kids, you can imagine that teaching them to take responsibility can be quite a task. I'm not just talking about picking up after themselves or throwing trash away, but teaching the kids about taking care their fingernails and brushing their hair. Those little things that I know my parents' taught me (or someone did), but I don't really remember the lesson.

SB is heading toward his teen years, and the past few weeks I've been reminded by people that he is getting older and our lives are about to change. (Dom, dom, dom...) Even though I know it's true, and inevitable, I'm not sure that I am quite ready for puberty to hit my home. (Although, if the people talking to me are right, it already has. I just don't want to admit it.) Teaching a "tween" boy how to trim his own nails and how to fix his own hair is necessary, even though it's difficult to get him to see the need. He doesn't care how long his nails are or if there's a lot of dirt under them. (GROSS) It's not until I start explaining to him why he shouldn't want dirt under his nails and that keeping them short will help, that he decides I'm right. But that feeling that he should probably trim his nails doesn't usually last long enough for him to actually trim them. Therefore, it still comes down to Mommy telling him, get the nail kit and trim those claws. (Okay, so they really aren't that long, but... :-P)

It's not that I want my kids to become completely independent overnight, but I don't want them so dependent upon Hubby and me to tell them how and when to do everything that all I've done is set them up to fail. I do believe that kids need to learn age appropriate responsibility. BG can pick up her toys and help Mommy move the the laundry from the washing machine to the dryer, and wash the table. PG can do all the things BG can do, but she can wash windows and sinks, make sandwiches, fold and put away her clothes. SB has many things he can do, plus he's learning how to cook and manage a grocery budget and how to wash and dry laundry.

Chores and personal hygiene aren't all there is to being responsible. To me, living responsibly isn't just about being responsible to yourself, but to others too. It may be nice do whatever you want, whenever you want; but who honestly grows up to be able to do that. We all have some kind of responsibility to others. As kids, you have a responsibility to clean up your toys so that they don't end up broken if someone steps on them and so no one trips on a toy and falls. As a teenager, you take on more responsibility. Possibly babysitting or mowing lawns. As a baby sitter you may need to know how to safely cook a  meal, play with kids, and tuck them in at bedtime. Mowing lawns means more than just taking care of someone's yard, but also taking care of your tools: the lawn mower, weed wacker, rake, etc. As college students, it suddenly becomes your responsibility to make sure you make it to class daily and on time. You have to complete your assignments and ask for help when you need it.  You need to prepare your own meals and clean your dorm. As we get older, our responsibilities grow; and it is my firm belief that if we want our future to be filled with responsible adults, we need to teach our kids to be responsible. Even if one of the first lessons is how and when to trim your nails.